When someone is blaming you they are often criticizing you in a negative, attack mode manner. When someone is criticizing another person they are using negative words to attack the person’s character. Example: “How could you be so stupid that you left the window open while its raining and now the laptop is ruined?”
Fact of life: there are team members in your world that are complainers. They exist everywhere. Some complainers are selective on who they complain to and complain about and others just say what they think to anyone who will listen. If you listen to someone complaining, you are opening the door for them to continue to use you as their complaint target listener. It is an experience that will eventually wear you down. You get figuratively slapped across the head every time the complainer speaks. After a while, you don’t notice but you start complaining too. Instead of doing the job you were supposed to do, you are too busy being angry about something and complaining about it that you don’t realize you missed a project deadline.