If you have ever or are now working in an environment where you are defensive of your actions and reactions more often than not, it is time to evaluate if you are in an unhealthy toxic environment.
- Toxic people will likely never apologize for their bad behavior.
- By trying to put you in a defensive position the toxic person is blaming you for making them do that. They create conflict and strife switching it around to make it look like you initiated the conflict, when the toxic behavior person displays manipulative bad behavior, at the very least.
- When you find yourself being blamed or manipulated to accept blame when unwarranted, try saying: Thank you for bringing the situation to my attention. I will keep my eyes open so we ensure this doesn’t happen again.
- If a colleague is not hearing another colleague correctly and their voices are escalating, try “Susan did you hear what Mark said”? It will take their focus off being angry and back to moving to next steps.
- When a team member is complaining, often only 3% of the complaint is valid. Ask the team member who is the complainer in front of others on the team. If 3% of what Susan said is true, and the rest isn’t, what is the 3% truth”?
The Blame Game