Do we lock horns with others to be aggressive or protective? If a colleague is constantly trying to “one-up you” or take credit where credit is not due or if they are constantly nit-picking every idea or thought you have, who is creating the ongoing problem? Can you take control to end this bad cycle?

Here are a few tips you may want to try if you are experiencing anything close to this.

If you have gone three rounds and are still at odds with another, could it be that the person has a hidden agenda and no matter what you say, they will say the opposite?

When you work with people that you have chemistry with, that don’t have hidden agenda’s you can see the communication difference immediately. Agree or disagree?

Think about the 10 points listed below.

  1. Can you accept people for who they are?
  2. Do you expect more than someone can or wants to give and do?
  3. FACT: When you expect nothing from others, anything is a gift.
  4. FACT: Baggage comes in many forms.
  5. If you are kind and others are not – stand strong and be proud of your integrity.
  6. Always demonstrate that you are proud of you.
  7. Never give your personal power away.
  8. Your strengths may give you an edge in dealing with multi-complex people; listen, hear and respond.
  9. If someone is arguing, do you remain calm and state your position, argue back, or say nothing?
  10. If you clearly see that you are being antagonized or verbally attacked do you keep it to yourself, tell your boss, tell a friend or speak with HR?

Hopefully, you will only run into someone you lock horns with once or twice in your career. Not everyone gets along with everyone they meet or work with. That is perfectly normal in a world as big as we live in. Locking horns with someone would be counter-productive. Options are: change the subject, dance around into another discussion, switch tacks, answer an accusation with a question. The bottom line is, disengage from aggressive confrontations whenever possible.